My middle son has been making some bad decisions. How did we not teach him right from wrong? We love him and only want the best for him. Why are my kids so anxious to move out? Is life at our house so bad? I feel like such a failure as a mom. My oldest moved out at 18. Things were not good at our house back then. I worried myself sick over the path he was taking. He is now a United States Marine and we are so proud of the man he has become. I still worry about the being a Marine part because he is deploying soon. My youngest is showing great promise. He has always been very smart. All my boys are very smart, my youngest has just always applied himself. He has been an overachiever since kindergarten. He is considering finishing high school and getting his Associates degree at the same time. Am I being a better mom to him or will he be running for the door a year from now?
I have a tremendous amount of self doubt now. Does that come with being a mom? I also feel this is affecting my marriage. If I am failing as a mother am I also failing as a wife? Stress makes your mind do funny things. My husband's birthday was Tuesday. His sister had called to talk and he was venting to her because he feels so frustrated too. In my mind he was airing our dirty laundry and giving people proof of what a failure I am. I know in my heart that is not what he was doing but I started a fight with him last night anyway. I was mad at my kid but was taking it out on my husband. I am so sorry Jamie!
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Oh April, there are no perfect parents, we all make mistakes, trust me on that, I made a LOT! I am paying for them now because my son won't even talk to me right now.
ReplyDeleteWe can only hope that someday they will come back to us.
I really don't think it's us April. I think 16 and 17 year olds are rotten. They want to be adults but there's still too much kid left in them sometimes. They can be very stubborn and immature. Seriously, I have been through all the feelings of what you just described. I still doubt myself and I still blame myself for a lot.
ReplyDeleteLooking back, I know I made mistakes but I also know that I'm a much better mom than mine was so I guess that's saying something. I had to come to the conclusion that you can still love someone without letting them run all over you.
I think I have learned a lot about parenting over the years and maybe now I would do some things different. But I'm also a lot smarter (and just plain tired) and wouldn't put myself through raising kids again if you freakin paid me!!! Kids are like puppies, they're so adorable when they're little but when they grow up they're just ugly little dogs!! ;^)